Beyond Friends:Season 3
by sammygurl14
Summary: (I'm back after a long break!) This is the next series in my complete Beyond Friends Series. This time things get more serious but still funny. Read to find out what happens:)
1. Hold Onto My Heart

Beyond Friends Episode Thirty Five "Hold On My Heart"  
  
Guest Stars -   
Matt LeBlanc as Joey  
David Schwimmer as Ross  
  
"Second Chance"  
  
"Rachel, I know." Ross had said.  
Rachel stood there not knowing what to say or what to think. She knew what he was talking about but couldn't comprehend it at the same time.  
"Know about what honey?" Rachel said feigning ignorance. At that time that seemed to be the best action. If she acted like she knew what he was talking about and if it was something completely different from what it looked like then she would be in trouble.  
"About you and Chandler." Ross said. "I know for exactly a month you were sleeping with Chandler as well as me."  
"How did you find out?" Rachel asked simply.  
"aaah!" Ross let out a shout. "Youre confirming it???" Ross said. "I was so hoping you would out and out deny this so we can get on with our lives. Say something that would insure my faith in you, in Chandler and in human nature. You know what? I was always hoping that we would get another chance at us, actually getting married, but no!" Rachel moved to speak. "No! that can't happen no. Not now...that you confirmed that you did this to me!!"  
"Ross I'm sorry!" Rachel burst into tears.  
"You're sorry!" Ross said seeming to get angrier by the second. "Youre sorry??? Were you sorry when you were with him, in bed making love to him, that kind of love that is only supposed to be for me? Tell me that, I wanna know what you were thinking when you did this to me, to us."  
"What about you? This is what happened between you and Chloe. And I didn't get half as angry as your are with me."  
"Do NOT throw Chloe back in this." Ross said pointing. "That was an accident. What you did was intentional, thought about and planned over. Chloe was a drunk one night stand that happened on what we did eventually realize was a break, but you still shunned me and we didn't get along very well for months afterward." Ross said taking a breath. "You want to know how I found out?"  
"Was it Monica?" Rachel asked.  
"Monica knew?" Ross replied.  
"Uh, you saw us somewhere?"  
"No!" Ross said. "You don't think I don't listen to the radio don't you? I heard Chandler confess his love to the metropolitan region when I was driving out of the area that night. I was hoping that Chandler would not act on it, and I was so much more hoping that you would not act on it as well." Ross looked down. "God Rachel, you once said we were about trust, but now thats not possible." Ross turned and headed for the parking lot.  
"Ross, where are you going?" Rachel chased after him.  
"I don't know, home maybe." Ross said unlocking his door. "Chandler will give you a ride home. I also over heard you at the wedding. I just had to ask if it was true or something you said because I was standing right there." Ross was now slowly coming down from his peak of anger. He now fought back tears. "I can't believe you knew how to cheat on me, Rachel."  
"I had a great teacher." Rachel said flatly.  
Ross looked at her, tears burning in his eyes. "You better go back to the cafe." He said. "Chandler will be wanting you back any second now."  
Ross shut the door and back up. Rachel watched him drive away. She was not as successful at holding back her tears as he was. She crumbled to her knees on the pavement and hugged herself.  
  
A few minutes later  
  
Rachel was amazed at how long stories about flatulence and Baywatch could keep two men occupied. Joey and Chandler were laughing at their table, playing with the cafes meatloaf. They hadn't even noticed she was gone for fifteen minutes.  
"Chandler?" Rachel said. She had gone to the bathroom washed her face and did her best to hide what were obviously blood shot eyes. She cried a lot when Ross left her in the parking lot. She eventually had to move and brood somewhere else when some cars started to come and park near her.  
"Yeah?" Chandler said turning.  
"Rachel, what's wrong?" Joey asked looking at her expression. Evidentially tap water couldn't wash away her dark mood.  
"Chandler can you take me home please?" Rachel asked. "I gotta talk to you."  
"Okay Rachel." Chandler said getting up. "Joey do you have a ride home?"  
"No, you go ahead." Joey said. "This looks important."  
"OK." Chandler grabbed his keys. "Let's go."  
  
Rachel was silent all the way home. Each second she didn't talk made Chandler think there was something very very wrong with her. The closer they got to home Chandler also thought it had to do with Ross since he did not return to eat the rest of his brick like meatloaf. She didn't talk till they reached the apartment and the door was safely shut behind them.  
  
"Chandler." Rachel said. "Ross knows."  
"Ross knows what?" Chandler asked getting something to drink. He grabbed a glass out of the cupboard.  
"About us Chandler. Ross knows we were together." Rachel said.  
Chandler dropped the glass onto the ground and it shattered into a thousand pieces. He looked down at it and got a broom. As he swept it up Rachel looked at him  
"We talked about it in the parking lot today." Rachel said after Chandler finished his little chore. "I think we are over."  
"Ross wouldn't out and out dump you." Chandler said. He dumped the glass into the trash bucket.  
"Well I think he did today." Rachel said. "We are over Chandler and we are over for good this time." Rachel started to cry again. Chandler came over and hugged her.  
"Are you gonna be allright?" Chandler asked as he held her.  
"I don't know." Rachel looked up at Chandler. "I can't live without him, Chandler. I never realized that till I lost him."  
"What we did we did together." Chandler said. "In more ways than one." Chandler thought for a minute. "How did he know?"B "Who knows, but he said he heard it on the radio and I knew he heard something at the wedding."  
"I had a feeling he was there longer than he said he was." Chandler said. He brushed her hair out of her face and wiped away her tears with the back of his hand. "Ross doesn't give up that easily. He's wanted you all his life, hes gonna fight for you even if he seems like hes giving up all hope on you." Chandler smiled. "It'll be all right. He will come around after a while. What I'm more worried about is how he will treat me when he sees me."  
"I doubt he will treat you any different though." Rachel smiled at Chandler. "Thanks for cheering me up."  
"Your welcome." Chandler kissed her on the forehead.  
Rachel decided to respond with a friendly kiss to the cheek She never made it to the cheek. Chandler and Rachels lips found each other they kissed. Chandler put his hands on Rachels back and pulled her gently toward him, and she didn't resist. For a minute they forgot this is what got them into trouble in the first place. Rachel pulled away as she realized the kiss was getting more passionate than she intended it to be.  
"Oh my god!" Rachel said putting her hands to her mouth. "What are we doing?"  
Chandler caught his breath.  
"I don't know. But I liked it. I liked it a lot and I am not afraid to admit that to you." Chandler said brushing some hair out of his face.  
"Well we cant like it!" Rachel said looking at Chandler. "Is this some kind of vicious cycle thing, cause we need to put the brakes on this puppy right now!"  
"Rachel I..."  
"Don't say that! Don't say I love you." Rachel said. "You've had all the time in the world to say that you loved me."  
"No there wasn't." Chandler said. "There was Barry, then Paolo, then Ross, then it was Joshua then Ross, then Anthony, then Ross." Chandler said.  
"I know." Rachel said.   
"But now Ross is gone." Chandler said.  
"No he's not, he just went home." Rachel said.  
There was a knock at the door. Chandler went over to the sink and washed his face off while Rachel went for the door.  
"Chandler, why did you do that?" She whispered. "I'm not wearing lipstick."  
"Just in case." Chandler said.  
Rachel smiled and opened the door and gasped.  
"Ross!"  
"Rachel, hi." Ross said with some flowers in hand. "I was wondering if we could talk?" Ross said spotting Chandler inching toward the door. "I wanna talk to you too Chandler." Ross said while handing Rachel the flowers.  
"Why are you giving me flowers?" Rachel asked putting them in some water.  
"I wanted to apologize for earlier." Ross said. "I tend to fly off the handle a little bit."  
"A little?" Rachel said. "Some passerby's thought we were rehearsing a soap scene."  
"Anyway, I thought about what you said. It's not fair for me to treat you any worse than you treated me for sleeping with Chloe." Ross said. "I want us to work on this Rachel."  
"What about Chandler." Rachel asked.  
"Chandler I forgive." Ross said. "It's too short of a life to go around having a grudge with the ones you love. So thats why I'm here." Ross said clapping his hands together. "I'm giving us a 32nd chance at us. I also have no good reason not to believe that your tryst with Chandler was a one time thing."  
"Oh thats for sure," Rachel said. "Chandler will move on and find someone but we will always love each other."  
"Anyway I gotta go. I got a double shift this week." Ross said touching Rachels hand. "We'll get together sometime when I can."  
"Together?" Rachel asked.  
"To talk." Ross said on his way out.  
"To talk." Rachel said after Ross left. "Is that a good thing?"  
"It looks like it babe, it looks like it." Chandler smiled. 


	2. Somebodys Watching Me

Beyond Friends Episode 36 "Somebodys Watching Me"   
  
Guest Stars-  
Courteney Cox as Monica  
Matt LeBlanc as Joey  
Judge Reinhold as Eric  
Angela Featherstone as Chloe  
  
  
"I Saw Him Standing There"  
  
Rachel had a hard time looking for Monicas new place. Moniacas dedication to her restaurant is legendary so Rachel expected to find her across the street from the contruction site. Lo and behold there was a hotel right across the street from the fire scene. Rachel thanked herself for remembering Monicas even more legendary predictablity before buzzing Monicas apartment.  
"What?" Monica said into the speaker.  
"It's me, Rachel." She said into the gross looking speaker.  
"Come on up, apartment 2-B." Monica said letting her in Rachel quickly dodged the dead-looking drunk on the stairs on the way up to the apartment. How a disgraceful place to live could be across the street from such an elegant eatery puzzled Rachel. She still thinking this over when Monica answered the door.  
"Hi." Monica said.  
"Hi!" Rachel said trying to sound cheerful. "We're going out tonight."  
"Out?" Monica raised her eyebrows. "I'd rather stay here and hate men."  
"Come on!" Rachel said. "You have been in such a funk since the wedding."  
"Non Wedding!"  
"And you should be happy since it found out that the fire was caused by faulty wiring and not you trying to get insurance money." Rachel said. She looked over at the closet. "You are coming with me missy." Rachel grabbed the dress she had given Monica as a gift after the wedding. "And I am gonna make you have fun even if I have to cram it down your throat. Now are you gonna put on this dress or will I have to do that too?"  
Monica shriveled in fake fear. "Ok. But you better not do that that again, I have a big brother...."  
"Ha ha, I'll be waiting." Rachel said as Monica put on the dress. "Are you ready?"  
"Yes." Monica said.  
"Then lets go!"  
  
Chandler was so damned bored it wasnt even funny anymore. Not after a half hour anyway. He paced the room after Rachel had left. What was he gonna do with the whole night and no girlfriend to himself?  
"Go to Joeys!" Chandler practically felt Rachel pushing him to the door. "Ok. I'll go to Joeys. But I wont like it."  
  
Rachel and Monica bopped down the street to a club with some loud techno music coming from it.  
"Lets go in here for a bit." Rachel said as they go closer.  
"What?" Monica yelled.  
"Go there." Rachel pointed and Monica followed like an obedient dog. "Monica." She whispered to her."Your boob is exposed."  
"Thanks." Monica said adjusting her dress.  
Monica and Rachel went into the club and started looking for a place to sit. Madonnas "Ray of light" came on the sound system and they decided to dance. As they went to the floor Rachel encountered some one who was familiar like. Rachel watches the woman turn around.  
"It's Chloe!" Rachel said seeing the woman Ross had slept with. Rachel had once been to the copy store that Chloe had worked at so thats how she knew what she looked like. Without a word Rachel moved to her. Chloe stopped dancing long enough to look her in the eyes.  
Rachel suddenly turned primal, and her movements started to look like what you would see when an animal attacks in a wildlife situation.  
"You bitch." Rachel said her words coming out slowly and deliberately. She then made her hand into a fist, reached back and socked Chloe right in the nose. Chloes head snapped back noting that Rachel had achieved contact. Some blood spurted from her nose ring, her eyes rolled back into her head as she went down to the floor. Rachel huffed and puffed as she stood above her victory. She didnt get to relish it long for Monica grabbed her hand and ran out of the club.  
  
Chandler knocked on the door leading to Joeys swanky penthouse suite. He had a time getting by the front doorman. He had to produce ID and a referance. Joey promptly provided clearance for his old friend. Joey came to the door in shirt and underpants.  
"Hey!" Joey said. "Long time no see!"  
"Hey!" Chandler said. "The girls are out tonight so I thought I would see you."  
"Thats so cool." Joey said. "I got baby sitting duty tonight though."  
"But thats not ordinary baby sitting, these are your kids." Chandler pointed out.  
"I know!" Joey said happy as could be. "Phoebe and I had a little talk. She decided that now that I know I'm a daddy I can help on the names for our little bundles of joy."  
"Thats great. So sunset and sunrise are just nick names now?"  
"Of course. Uncle Chandy meet Jamie and Jenny Buffay." Joey said pointing out the crib.  
Chandlers eyebrows arched. "Uncle Chandy?" He thought. "I thought I would never see the day."  
  
Monica brought Rachel into a phone booth.  
"What the hell was that?"  
"Well I punched Chloe, I knocked her lights out." Rachel said. "And you heard the doctor, an inch to the left and her nosering would have been sent into her brain and killed her. I feel pretty good. This is closure." Rachel explained.  
"Don't do to much more of this type of closure, we could get sent to jail, ok?" Monica said.  
"Ok." Rachel grinned. "Frankly I didn't know I had it in me." She waved her hand around.  
"Yeah," Monica said. "Don't point that in my direction."  
"Sorry." Rachel looked around. "Let's get out of here. I'm starting to feel like Superwoman."  
Rachel and Monica left the phone booth.  
"I know a great coffee place." Monica said as they walked away. "And its got karaoke!"  
"Why don't we go home now." Rachel said.  
"Oh come on." Monica said. "This way."  
Rachel groaned and let her be led in the direction of the great karaoke bar. She stopped for a second.  
"What?" Monica asked.  
"Thought I saw someone." Rachel said. "Never mind, lets go."  
  
Chandler watched Joey fold laundry, cook dinner and now he was feeding the newly crowned Jamie and Jenny twins. The kids were so like their father it wasnt funny. They spat up everything they were given, which mostly ended up on the floor. Chandler could not take no more. He expected to have fun at the place of his bud. But was that at all possible now that he has kids to think of? Chandler sighed and looked at the clock. He had spent two hours there yet it felt like days. Chandler made a decision.   
He had to get out of there, if it was the last thing he would do. But he didn't want to hurt Joeys feelings.  
"I gotta get some air." Chandler said.  
"Oh ok." Joey said. "I may be in bed when you get back."  
"Uh ok." Chandler said closing the door.  
  
Monica and Rachel found a seat at the karaoke club. They sat and waited for their order while a short fat man murdered the song "Rhinestone cowboy."  
"This is a nice place." Monica said sipping her tea.  
The man finally finished his song and left the stage. A good looking man who appeared to the be host of the club took the mike.  
"That was Reggie, give a hand you all." The man said. "My name is Eric and tonight its volunteer singer night at the Karoke Kupp the finest coffee slash karaoke joint in town." Eric cupped the mike in his hand. "Let me explain the rules. I will volunteer any audience member at any time to sing a song of my choice. It's a good thing it only happens once a week or my head would be on a stick." Eric scanned the crowd. "Our next singer is that woman right there."  
Eric pointed at Monica.  
"Me?" Monica asked.  
"Yes." Eric nodded. "Come on up."  
Monica looked at Rachel who urged her to go on up. Monica looked back at her as she got onto the stage.  
"Youre a lovely looking young lady." Eric said as he looked her over. "Whats your name."  
"Monica."  
"Well then, you look like a new comer. No matter, the words are on the screen over there. In fact tonight I will sing a duet with our lovely Miss Monica." The audience clapped. "In fact our song will be none other than the Sonny and Cher classic I got you babe."  
Eric started the music. Monica looked over at the screen reluctantly and got ready to sing.  
"They say we're young and we don't know.  
We won't find out until we grow." Monica sang.  
Eric looked at his line. "Well I don't know if all that's true 'Cause you got me, and baby I got you.  
Babe." Eric whispered, "We both sing this."  
Monica and Eric tried to sing the chorus "I got you babe I got you babe" and did somewhat good at it.  
In fact Monica was just loosening up when the song ended. Both Monica and Eric recieved a wild round of applause....from Rachel. Everyone else had left. Eric shut down the karaoke machine and waved as he left.  
"Let's go home before he decides to sing And the beat goes on." Monica said. She turned to leave when she saw an oh so familiar looking man at the bar with a blonde. "Oh my god." Monica said.  
"What?" Rachel looked at the same person Monica was at. "It's him!"  
"Okay, youre not gonna punch him too are you?" Monica asked while still both looking at the man at the bar. "Whats he doing here?" 


	3. How Do You Talk To An Angel

Beyond Friends Episide Thirty Seven "How Do You Talk To An Angel"  
  
Cameron Diaz as Naomi   
David Schwimmer as Ross  
Courteney Cox as Monica  
Adam Sandler as Steve  
Tea' Leoni as Linda  
  
"Angel Eyes"  
  
Chandler sighed. He could not believe it. He was actually bored enough that night to pay Ross a visit at the museum. He went there after he had hung out with Joey for about an hour before he got restless and left. Nothing seemed to make him happy that night, and not many things were holding his attention for long. He had followed Ross around while he looked at dinosaur specimans found a a dig recently. For the past ten minutes he had watched Ross use what looked like an old barbershop shaving cream brush to brush off sand on a delicate bone.  
Ross could sense his recurring restlessness before Chandler could.  
"Chandler, you know there are more parts to the museum than just the dinosaur part." Ross said after shutting off a tape recorder he had been using.  
"Really?" Chandler looked up in shock. "You're kidding."  
After scanning his comment for any patent Chandler sarcasm, Ross realized he wasnt kidding. Chandler never really spent a lot of time at his workplace. Ross decided to humor him in case he was kidding.  
"Well, if you go this way and to the left, you will be able to see the gallery, with paintings and stuff in it." Ross said pointing with his brush.  
"Hmm, this is something to look into." Chandler sat up from his stool seat.  
"If I'm not mistaken theres some kind of Gaguin exhibit open right now." Ross said returning to his bone. Chandler looked at him questionably. "Hes a painter, I think."  
"I'll find out for the both of us." Chandler said as he left the room.  
Ross smiled and adjusted his light. "Time enough at last." He muttered as he hunkered into his work.  
  
The Karaoke Joint  
  
Monica and Rachel were still standing at the doorway when they recognized a certain man at the bar.  
"I can't believe Steve has nerve enough to be at a singles bar when he dumped you last week." Rachel said giving Steves head a dirty look.  
"Thanks for the reminder." Monica said. "Why did he break off the wedding?"  
"Well, your engagement was kinda whirlwind. It happened really fast. Maybe Steve realized it was way too fast for him." Rachel said. "He kept changing his mind about all the important wedding details. That fact alone should have hinted us off to some of what was going on in his head. He wasn't ready, Monica." Rachel said. She gave her friend a hug.  
"Yeah, you're right. But I would have been willing to wait." Monica said looking into Rachels eyes.  
"Monica, we all knew that you wanted to get married more than any of us did." Rachel said.  
"Yeah." Monica said. "Hey Steve is greeting someone over there."  
"Maybe a guy friend?" Rachel asked hopefully.  
"No, definately female. I would never kiss one of my guy pals like that." Monica said squinting. "She seems new."  
"Yeah." Rachel nodded. "Why don't we leave.Theres not exactly a point to staying here anymore..." Rachel abruptly stopped when she saw someone. "Mon, thats no ordinary new girl." Rachel pointed.  
"Oh my god." Monica said getting a clear look of the woman with Steve. She stopped. "Who is it?"  
"It's Linda!" Rachel said. "She dumped Chandler to go to California in a transfer. At least thats what I heard her say to him the night she left."  
"Rachel."  
"Yea?"  
"I got a feeling there is more to this than a undecisive bridegroom and a power hungry bitch." Monica said.  
"What do we do?"  
"What else? We talk to them. No punching." Monica said as they started to cross the floor to the bar area.  
  
The gallery  
  
Chandler took his time and walked around and looked at the paintings. He looked one over and tried to figure out its meaning. He looked around to see if he was the only one visiting the night gallery that Saturday night. Five people were circulating among the paintings and the sculptures. Two dark clothed were vehomently discussing a portrait of just a big red dot under they were told to shut up by a burly looking guard. Chandler stayed quiet, he wouldnt want that guy in his face.  
He was about to move on to a painting of water lillies when he spotted a gorgeous blond observing the painting with an "in awe" look in her eyes. Chandler smiled at her.  
"Are you gonna stare or are you gonna say hi to me." The woman said softly. She turned to him, some strands of perfect blond hair swayed into her face. With one fluid motion she moved the errant hairs back into place.  
"Hi." Chandler said. "Chandler."  
"Ah." The woman said. "Chandler - meaning to make candles. Do you make candles?" The woman asked.  
"No, I'd burn down my apartment if I lit a candle I made. I'd accidentally use hog fat instead of candle wax."  
She laughed. She had a musicial laugh that seemed to dance in her eyes and her smile.  
"I'm Naomi." She said while extending her hand. "I'm not sure if it means anything."  
"I'm sure it means something beautiful. Magical. Much like its owner." Chandler said leaning on the wall. Naomi smiled.  
"Hey!" The guard yelled from his post. "No leaning on the wall!"  
"Sorry." Chandler said standing straight up again.  
"You been here before?" Naomi asked.  
"A friend of mine works here in the dinosaur department but remarkably I've never been in this gallery before." Chandler admitted. "I'm not much of a painting person."  
"You're kidding." Naomi said. "Well its easy if you do this." Naomi reached for his hand. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna sexually harass you."  
"Thats ok. This type of harassment I can take." Chandler said letting Naomi take his hand.  
"Close your eyes." Naomi instructed. Chandler slowly closed his eyes. Naomi brought Chandlers fore finger to the painting. "This is the famous work of art Water Lillies. It's by Manet, or Monet. I get them mixed up." She said while bringing Chandlers finger so it lightly brushed the paint on the easel. "Feel it here? The soft strokes here indicate water, if you think hard you would actually think you are lying here in the lilly pond with these lilly ads." Naomi said while brushing Chandlers forefinger across the easel. She brought his finger a little higher. "This where the land begins. Concentrate and its like actually putting your hands into wet sand and dirt."  
"Oohhh." Chandler said smiling.  
"We're done now." Naomi said letting go of Chandlers hand. His eyes opened back up. "Being this close to a work of art like this makes you feel like you are actually part of it."  
"Wow." Chandler said in awe. "I felt so connected to it when I was touching it. I mean besides the fact that my finger has connected to it."  
"Yeah." Naomi smiled as a clock bell went off in the gallery. The people who were so fervertantly arguing about the red dot picture turned and left suddenly, along with just about everyone else, including the guard. "We gotta go now." Naomi said leading Chandler out the back door of the night gallery. "Its time for the gallery to close and well its past my bedtime."  
"Wait. Isnt there some way I can see you again?" Chandler asked grabbing her hand.  
"Yeah, I'll be back here tomorrow night." Naomi went into the darkness.  
"Naomi!" Chandler yelled. "I don't even know your last name!"  
"It's Baker." Naomis voice called, seemingly coming out of nowhere. "Naomi Baker."  
"Naomi." Chandler said to himself. He went in the direction she went in and when he go to the spot where he thought he heard her voice, there was no one around. It was like she wasn't even there.  
"This is unreal." Chandler said as he turned to go home.  
  
The Karaoke Joint  
  
Monica and Rachel walked up to the bar where they saw Steve and Linda.  
"Steve?" Monica asked. He turned around and nearly jumped back three feet. "Why?"  
"Well uh." Steve squirmed in his seat. "We were going way too fast Monica."  
"I could have waited."  
"We both know thats not true." Steve said. "I met Linda at a bar recently. This bar. She was going out with your friend Chandler."  
"Yeah." Linda said. "I met this wonderful man and we just fell in love. I knew he was getting married to you but he decided not to go through with it. Just to be with me. I told Chandler I was going to California just so he wouldn't look for me if I just suddenly broke it off with him."  
"What makes you think Steve won't do the same thing to you if he meets some other woman?" Rachel asked while she watched Monica. She was on the on the brink of tears.  
"If you didnt want to get married, all you had to do was say so." Monica said turning to leave.  
Steve grabbed her arm. "I'm so sorry Monica."  
Monica turned and slapped Steve across the face. She had slapped him so hard he fell back a couple of inches.  
"Goodbye Steve." Monica said then looked at Linda. "I hope your happy."  
Monica left the bar and headed for home. Rachel had to run just to keep up.  
  
Home  
  
Monica and Rachel were walking up the stairs at Rachels apartment.  
"Well, on the bright side, at least you got closure." Rachel said to her as she started to unlock the door.  
"Wait Rachel." Monica asked stopping her from putting the key in the lock.  
"What?"  
"Should we tell Chandler we found Linda in town tonight?"  
"I don't know." Rachel said. She thought for a minute. "He should know."  
"It'll hurt him." Monica said.  
"But wouldn't he be better off knowing?" Rachel asked.  
"True." Monica said. "Let's go in."  
They walked in and Chandler was in the kitchen.  
"Oh you are just in time." Chandler said. "I'm making pizza." Chandler said making a bad attempt to toss the dough into the air. He missed but managed to catch the dough before it hit the floor.  
"Chandler, we have something to tell you."Monica started.  
"I met the most wonderful girl tonight." Chandler said cutting them off. "Her name is Naomi and shes like an angel."  
"Chandler hon, we saw Linda downtown tonight with Steve." Rachel touched Chandlers shoulder.  
"Can we stay on topic?" Chandler said. "I'm over Linda. The Age of Linda is over, we are talking Naomi now."  
"Wow." Monica said. "Tell us about her."  
"Well we met at the night gallery and...." Chandler stopped abruptly. He was putting the pizza sauce on the dough when he stopped. "Oh my god. I just met the most wonderful woman in the world and I know nothing more than her first and last name."  
"You'll see her again?" Rachel asked.  
"Oh yeah. I'll just go back to the night gallery, ask her out for a drink." Chandler said. "I don't care what I have to do, I just gotta see her again." Chandler said going into the bathroom to wash up.  
"I guess Lindas not gonna bother him." Monica said.  
"Nope." Rachel said smiling. "You wanna go back out?"  
"I want to stay for the pizza." Monica confessed.  
"Me too." Rachel agreed and sat down and awaited Chef Chandlers return.  
After the pizza was done they each held up a slice.  
"A toast." Chandler said. "To mended hearts, may they all heal quickly."  
"To mended hearts!" Rachel and Monica said as they ate their slice. 


	4. Fly to the Angels

Beyond Friends Episode Thirty Eight "Fly To The Angels"  
  
Guest Stars  
  
Courteney Cox as Monica  
  
Cameron Diaz as Naomi  
  
David Schwimmer as Ross  
  
"Ballad Of Jayne"  
  
Chandler sat down and had breakfast with Monica and Rachel. He didnt even pause for breath as he scooped down his frosted flakes. Monica and Rachel watched silently as he gobbled it all down in less than five minutes.  
  
Chandler looked up. He wiped a little milk dribble from his chin. He finally noticed he had an audience.  
  
"What?" He asked.  
  
"Where are you off to in such a hurry, speedy guy?" Rachel asked.  
  
"I want to go see Naomi." Chandler replied after chugging a glass full of sunny d Monica managed to hand him before he ripped her hand off.  
  
"Do you even know where she lives?" Monica asked. She nodded after Chandler said nothing.   
  
Chandler had admitted the first time he met the mysterious and dreamy and "oh god so perfect" Naomi that he knew not a thing about her.  
  
"She knows a lot about art, and paintings and things you do with clay." Chandler said.  
  
"Oh come on Chandler, the only thing you know about art is what you learned from that issue of Playboy where Farrah Faucett used her body as a paint brush." Monica said.  
  
"Thats not me, that was Joey. Whole damn magazine was smudged up, I never got to read the actual article." Chandler pointed out. "I may not know art, but I know what I like. And I like her!"  
  
"Shes right." Rachel pointed out. "In the naked city, there could be 15 or 20 Naomi Bakers."  
  
"You're right, but what was with the tv referance?" Chandler asked. Before she got a chance to answer Chandler got up and left the two of them in his wake. Monica and Rachel sat there for a minute after he left.  
  
"So." Monica said slowly. "What are you doing today?" She looked at Rachel.  
  
Rachel shrugged. "Don't you have a restaurant to rebuild?" She asked after coming to her senses.  
  
"City wide workman strike." Monica sighed.  
  
"Oh." Monica thought. "Don't you work at a perverted strip club cafe place?" She asked Rachel.  
  
"There was a raid last night." Rachel sighed. "We all got a day of today."  
  
"Oh." Monica said.  
  
They rested their heads to the table and sighed.  
  
Chandler realized the minute he stepped out on to the sidewalk that he had no idea on how to find Naomi. He looked around for a minute hoping for inspiration. Then he shrugged and took off in the direction of the corner store. Thinking hard was giving him a powerful thirst.  
  
Rachel thought for a second.  
  
"I got it!" She cried out. She ran into the bathroom. Monica had shortly retreated there after they couldnt thing of a single thing to do. She stopped short when she ran into Monicas rear end.  
  
"I'm not doing anything!" A startled Monica cried. She was wearing plastic gloves and holding a sponge.  
  
"Youre scrubbing my floor!" Rachel said looking around. Monica stood up, trying to make it look like she wasnt caugh cleaning someone elses bathroom.  
  
"No I'm not." Monica said shedding her gloves. "What is your idea?" Monica said with sudden renewed energy.  
  
"We should find this mysterious Naomi Baker for Chandler." Rachel offered as they emerged from the bathroom.  
  
"I don't know. Meddling in his love life like this." Monica said.  
  
"Youve done it before. It would be totally unexpected of us, like that time Ross stood up for Carol and Susans lesbian relationship at their first and last PTA meeting?" Rachel pointed out.  
  
"True." Monica said. "And Susan has been very nice to Ross ever since he did that for her." Monica sighed.  
  
"All right." She relented. "We have nothing better to do."  
  
"Not unless you want to watch Chandlers lady nude mud wrestling collection." Rachel pointed out a carefully indexed stack of VHS tapes next to the big screen tv.  
  
"Wheres the phone book?" Monica asked. Rachel picked up two and slammed them on the table.  
  
Chandler had gotten his cold Zima from the store and thought for a minute. He had met Naomi at the night gallery so what natural place to find her than at the museum. He took off in a bee line to the natural history section where he hoped to find his savior.  
  
Ross was brushing off some brontosaurus bone when he arrived.  
  
"Hey Chan.." Ross said looking up. "Twice in two weeks. I'm starting to feel special..."  
  
"Yeah, Dinos, fascinating. Dead." Chandler said in a hurried breath. "I was here for the night gallery."  
  
"Yeppers." Ross said. "Hand me that ice pick like tool."  
  
Chandler obliged. "Do you remember seeing a heart-achingly beautiful woman?" He asked.  
  
"I dunno." He said. "That type of woman doesnt usually stroll past my department." Ross admitted. "Why?"  
  
"I need to find her, but I only know her name, and theres 15 people with the same kind of name in the city. Can you help me or not?" Chandler said pleading with his eyes.  
  
"I can't, pal, I'm sorry." Ross said.  
  
"Great." Chandler said. "Uh, enjoy the dead things, let me know when they move."  
  
"Believe me, you wont be the first to know if they moved." Ross cracked when Chandler was out of sight.  
  
"Ok, I'm sorry." Rachel said putting the phone down.  
  
"There are 15 Naomi Bakers and they are either teenaged or married or too old." Rachel explained as Monica crossed out another name on the list.  
  
"I just wonder how we can find her? Does she have an unlisted number?" Monica asked.  
  
"I tried to call the phone company on an unlisted number once. They would not give it to me." Rachel said. "I'm beginning to think that Naomi doesnt even exist."  
  
"Rachel?" Monica said as something caught her eye.  
  
"Its like she fell off the edge of the earth." Rachel said sitting in back of Monica.  
  
"Oh boy, you don't know how right you are about that." Monica said picking up a newspaper.  
  
"What?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Look." Monica said pointing out a section of the paper. Rachel read it and her eyes nearly popped out of her head.  
  
"Oh my god." Rachel said. "This is his Naomi."  
  
Chandler opened the door to find Monica and Rachel on the couch facing him. They had a newspaper article in hand.  
  
"I could not find Naomi with the life of me. Your brother wasnt much of a help either." Chandler said taking his coat off. "What?" He asked the two girls when they said nothing.  
  
"Chandler, we have something to show you." Monica said coming over. Rachel soon followed behind.  
  
"What?" Chandler said and took the article. "First anniversary of Night Gallery killings is tonight" He read the headline. He glanced down the article and gasped. His mouth went dry, as if someone had packed if with shipping cotton. "Naomi Baker..." He proceeded to read. "...daughter of multimillionarie merchant Vino Baker was among the slain in the gallery when this yet unsolved murder occured. Among the victims, noted art critics Julian and Lordeau Jacques and a night guardsman." Chandler dropped the newspaper article on the ground. "This has got to be a a a joke. A sick joke." Chandler stammered.  
  
"No, its real." Rachel said. "I remember this being in the paper a year ago, a year ago tonight."  
  
"It can't be." Chandler said still in shock. "I touched her, I smelled her perfume. She was real."  
  
"Chandler, you might have thought she was real..." Monica said trying to be consoling.BR 


	5. Get a Job

Beyond Friends Episode Thirty Nine "Get a job"  
  
Special Guests  
  
Matt LeBlanc as Joey  
  
Rodney Dangerfield as "Harem Sam" Whiton  
  
"Working for the weekend"  
  
Rachel picked up a tray of drinks and headed for her next table. She could not believe she had been working this strip joint as long as she had been. How long was it now? Months or years? It felt like forever. She expertly swiveled her hips to miss a unwanted customers hand on her tush but also tried to regain her balance.  
  
"Ok." She said reaching her table. "Here are your drinks." She said sliding them in front of her customers. "Enjoy." Or dont, she thought, she stopped caring about these people weeks ago.  
  
"Yo waitress!" A single male voice called from near the runway where the waitresses did their business.  
  
"Keep your pants on, I mean it, I'll be right there." She called. She walked over and ripped off a full sheet on her notepad so she would have room to write the new order.  
  
"Okay, what do you want?" She said not looking at the new customer.  
  
"Rachel?" The voice called out.  
  
"Yeah?" She looked up. "Joey?"  
  
"What are you doing here?" He got up and they shared a hug.  
  
"After the restaurant burned down I had to get another job." She said. "Please don't tell Chandler and Ross? They don't know I work here."  
  
"Don't worry about it." Joey shrugged off. "Technically I'm not supposed to be in here either. I have a doctor appointment I'm trying to miss."  
  
"Great." Rachel said. "Quick, give me your drink order, then I will have an excuse to come back."  
  
"Okay." Joey aid a smiled. "A beer would be nice."  
  
"Gotcha." Rachel turned and left.  
  
Up in the apartment Chandler was all alone. It had been a week since he had found out who his dream girl really was. Chandler had done the impossible, fallen in love with a girl who didn't really exist anymore, plus he had managed to kiss her before she disapeared again.  
  
He had told Rachel and Monica the whole story of what happened there in the graveyard but they had looked at him like he was crazy. Monica even went so far as to say he probably got hit in the head, but Chandler said he would have remembered that.  
  
He had to get over her, he knew that but it was gonna be impossible. He didn't know why but ever since he met her he had the need to find out more about her. What happened to her that night at the night gallery when she died. And why no one could ever solve the case or find out who had taken this beautiful creature away from him before they had a chance to meet in real life.  
  
She had said. "I had to die to meet the wonderful man alive." After that night he had done some readings. Naomi was what was referred to as a restless spirit, someone with unfinished business here in the material world. Chandler had already figure out that the business had to do with her death, she needed peace in herself before she could move on. But as of now, Chandler had no idea what do do in order to grant her that peace.  
  
Chandler settled in his chair and fell asleep, hoping some rest would refresh his mind so he could look at the matter from a different perspective.  
  
"Harem Sams"  
  
Since Rachels break wasnt for another hour, she told Joey she could not plop down and talk to him like they would do if she were home. Joey was completely understanding. He started to follow her around so at least they could get a little chatting time in then.  
  
"How long you been here." Joey said looking around while Rachel filled her drink order.  
  
"I don't know, a month or two. This is only temporary." Rachel said as if she felt a need to explain herself.  
  
"Ok." Joey said. "I have an idea."  
  
"I'm not supposed to date customers until I've been here a year." Rachel said.  
  
"No no, no." Joey protested. "I need a personal assistant at Days of our restless children, cause the last once quit to be a soap actress herself."  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that, but what does that have to do with me?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Will you become my new personal assistant?" Joey asked smiling. "You already know me and my quirks and other stuff."  
  
"I don't know." Rachel said finishing a drink. "I'd have to think it over."  
  
"Hey, Rachel, babe," Harem Sam walked up to her. "I been looking for your cute tushy everywhere. You are very hard to catch, like a greased pig." He said looking at Rachel. "Speaking of greasy stuff, we are trying something new next month, chick wrestling in creamed corn and guess who is in the first match? You!" Sam said proudly. "What do you say toots? Do you want to go somewhere comfortable so I can see if the g-string fits." He finished with a suggestive lear.  
  
Rachel stared blankly at him. She spent a lot of time thinking this offer over. Two seconds actually. She turned to Joey.  
  
"When can I start?" She asked. Joey smiled and led her away.  
  
"So then I changed out of that awful outfit and told Sam where to put it. I was out of there in less than five minutes." Rachel told Monica on the phone. Monica was at home doing some final facts and figures on restaurant stuff. She would have been more detailed to Rachel about what she was song, but Monica knew that she didn't care about that.  
  
"You are really gonna work for Joey?" Monica asked.  
  
"Yeah, it was either that or come home covered and food and Chandler giving me a strange "What the hell do you do all day" look." Rachel said.  
  
"You probably had a great swimsuit to do that in too." Monica inserted. "It does sound weird, I mean is the corn cooked or is it just fresh out of the can?"  
  
Rachel scoffed. "Why does that matter? Some other sucker is doing it."  
  
"Well, we'll see who the sucker is after you work for Joey for a while." Monica hung up the phone and returned to the kitchen table. Chandler was helping her with financial figures.  
  
"That was Rachel?" Chandler asked working on a calculator.  
  
"Yea. She has a new job." Monica said getting back to work.  
  
"I don't even know what she did at her last job, do you know?" Chandler asked.  
  
"She never told me either." Monica shrugged. "I'll let her tell you what shes doing now."  
  
"Why can't you tell me."  
  
"Because chances are you will not believe me." Monica said tossing a scrap piece of paper in the trash.  
  
"Try me."  
  
"Shes gonna be Joeys personal assistant at the set of his soap." Monica said with a straight face.  
  
"You're right." Chandler agreed. "I don't believe it."  
  
Rachel sat outside Joeys dressing room door in a school dress and a pencil and some sheets of paper. She began to feel like a hall monitor or a kid taking a test. She had been there since she jumped ship at the strip club job. Rachel hoped she didnt look desperate when she quit and took Joeys job offer. If he noticed he didnt say anything about it. She looked up when Joey came out the door.  
  
"Okay Rachel." Joey explained. "Simple duty. Four people will come here during my dress rehersal. I'll be gone. Anyawy, a new script is coming. He'll give it to you. What you do with that is you underline all of my lines so I know not what to read. Understand so far?"  
  
Rachel nodded.  
  
"Three women will be coming by. If they ask where I am, well be creative or something. I gotta go." Joey went down the hall.  
  
"Great." Rachel said. "A well trained ape could do this job."  
  
The script guy came right away. Rachel opened the script and got ready to underline the parts that read "Dr Jason Godfrey", then she noticed in this episode Joey only had one scene and three lines. She took her pencil and underlined everything she saw. A noise took her attention from her "simple duty". She looked up and saw a woman, she had cleared her throat to catch her attention.  
  
"Hi. I'm Sandra Mae Jenkins. Joeys date for tonight." Sandra Mae said smiling.  
  
"He's at rehersal." Rachel pointed. "You just missed him."  
  
"Okay." Sandra Mae said. "I can wait."  
  
She took a seat across from Rachel. Sandra Mae suggestively crossed her legs when she thought she heard Joey coming. It was amother woman.  
  
"Hello. I'm Sarah Perkins." The second woman said. "I'm here for Joeys date tonight?"  
  
"Well." Rachel said looking around. "He's not here."  
  
"You're not Joeys date." Sandra Mae said rising. "I am."  
  
"You are sadly mistaken." Sarah said. "I'm his date."  
  
"You both are wrong." A third voice interuppted. "I am Michelle Davidson, and I am Joeys rightful date."  
  
Michelle came down the hall. The threesome stared at each other.  
  
"We'll see whos right." Sandra Mae drawled. "His personal assistant is right here. Honey..." She started and looked at the desk. "Funny, she was here a minute ago.  
  
Rachel came through the door like a bat out of hell. She slammed the door.  
  
"Hi!" She greeted Chandler. "I suppose you heard. I am not Joeys personal assitant. I am Joeys Bimbo wrangler. Along with keeping his scripts straight, I keep his ducks all in a row."  
  
"Ha!" Chandler pointed at her. "Now you know what its like to live with him. Keeping all your Tiffanis and Jennifers from finding out about each other."  
  
"Yeah. What fun." Rachel said. "At least I'm not at the club anymore." She gasped realizing she let something slip.  
  
"Club?" Chandler asked.  
  
"Dammit!" Rachel said. "I worked so hard at making Monica and Joey not tell you and Ross that I served as a waitress at some seedy strip club and I end up messing it up myself." She sat down. "After Monicas place burned down I needed another job. I didn't want to mooch of your or anyone else so Monica helped me find a job, any job. I was desperate." "Oh Rachel." Chandler said. "I'm sorry you had to keep that secret from me. But I would not have had a problem with it."  
  
"Really?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Course not. But now you are Joeys assistant." Chandler said. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry."  
  
"Laugh now, cry later." Rachel said. "I'm gonna go back. Joey doesnt now I hit the bricks after his three dates showed up at the same time."  
  
"Ah." Chandler said. "Same old Joey."  
  
"Better believe it." Rachel said went out the door. 


	6. Thoroughly Modern Millie

Beyond Friends Episode Forty "Thoroughly Modern Millie"  
  
Guest Stars  
  
Demi Moore - Alison Cooper-David  
  
Bruce Willis - Wesley David  
  
"Modern Woman"  
  
Rachel sat outside a small bistro not to far from the studio where she now worked as Joeys personal assistant. Joey had found her working as a waitress in a strip club. Rather than tell Chandler she worked there he offered her the job she currently held. It was better than serving coffee to a bunch of men who only saw her as a sex object. Chandler eventually found out through a slip of Rachels own tongue but he had taken the news in fine style. Rachel was about to go when she was tapped on the shoulder.  
  
She turned around to face who had interuppted her quiet lunch of chili dogs.  
  
"Alison!" She said seeing her former Bloomingdales boss.  
  
"Long time no see." Alison said hugging Rachel as she rose.  
  
"How have you been?" Rachel asked as she moved to sit again.  
  
"Well I have to run home. Can we walk and talk?" Alison asked. "I have so much to tell you and not that much time."  
  
"Sure." Rachel said grabbing her purse and hurried to catch up with here quick moving friend.  
  
Chandler was also getting ready to have some lunch when Alisons better half encountered him in the elevator. Wesley stopped the elevator with one hand and got on board and waited for the door to close.  
  
"Chandler." He turned on him. "I need your help."  
  
"The supply closet is now on the left instead of the right in the hallway." Chandler said.  
  
"No no, I need help with my uh..."  
  
"Isnt there a doctor..." Chandler said as Wesley stuttered. Wesley wasnt too good with personal matters at all.  
  
"Chandler, my marriage is falling apart!!" Wesley said.  
  
Chandler cocked an eyebrow.  
  
Rachel caught up with Alison.  
  
"Theres something different about you." Rachel noted. "You get a new haircut?"  
  
"Oh yes." Alison said as they approached her building. "I got a new haircut, and today I ditched my job as liasion to the lieutenant govenor to follow my dream. I want to start a new life." Alison explained. "In order to have that new life I had to do two things."  
  
Wesley was explaining the story about the same time Alison was.  
  
"First she quit her job, now shes gonna get rid of me and be a..."  
  
"Lounge singer!" Alison and Wesley said together.  
  
"What?" Rachel asked.  
  
"You heard me." Alison said. "It has always been a dream of mine to sing in a club with people watching every move you make. Unfortuately Wesley isnt happy about my desire for a new life, especially since it will not include him. Wesley got a pay cut so hes making money the issue. So I up and left. I got this place last week." Alison said looking around, proud of herself.  
  
"I gotta go." Rachel said. "I got a feeling someone else wants to talk to me." She said feeling a kind of Chandler vibe right then. She could never explain how she knew that Chandler wanted to talk to her.  
  
"Ok." Alison said.  
  
"Uh. I want you to think this through." Rachel said rubbing her head with the palm of her hand.  
  
"I've thought it over."  
  
"Do some more thinking." Rachel advised.  
  
"I love music" Alison said. "And I love musicals. Don't you remember that scene in Thoroughly Modern Millie where Jane Fonda and Mary Tyler Moore are dancing in the elevator? It's classic."  
  
"I just think you should consider this alot more than you are, you are throwing away a great life with Wesley for a girlish whim." Rachel started to leave, but then she turns. "And it was Julie Andrews in the elevator dancing scene."  
  
"I get them two mixed up a lot." Alison said.  
  
"Please, for my sake?" Rachel asked with pleading eyes. "At least consider this, your first big show, if you dont do well, go talk to Wesley." Rachel said openingn the door.  
  
"But what if I don't fail up on stage?" Alison asked.  
  
"Then I don't know what to tell you then." Rachel said closing the door.   
  
After she closed the door, Rachel placed her fingers on the edge of her lips and tried not to bite them. She had to go talk to Chandler. He would be at the chilli dog stand on pleasant street by now. With any luck, Wesley was with him.  
  
Chandler and Wesley had found their usual spot outside Chilli Fritos and ordered their lunch.  
  
"What do you mean she quit her job?" Chandler asked Wesley as soon as he got him calmed down enough to talk.  
  
"She quit her job as that liasion thing. I never understood what that as in the first place. Is that a fancy name for a agent? Secretary? She moved out and she has a place to herself now. I don't know where it is." He looked up and saw Rachel.  
  
"I take it youre talking about Alison?" Rachel asked sitting down. "I just ran into her a few minutes ago myself."  
  
"Wes," Chandler said smiling a greeting at Rachel. "Tell us what happened."  
  
"Well one night last week we were at our favorite club. Just talking like we usually do. No surprises. Pretty much routine. Then around ten or so she sprung it on me. She wants a new life all of a sudden. She said she was gonna quit her job and do some singing for a while. She admitted to me it wont make much money."  
  
Weskey paused for a breath. "I told her I didn't like the idea, and I did everything but forbid her to do it."  
  
"She didn't like that." Rachel finished for him. "She felt like Wesley was like her father or something."  
  
"Right." Wesley said. "She basically said she was gonna do this with or without me. Shes gonna do it anyway. I don't know what to do." Wesley got up. "I got to go." Rachel and Chandler looked at each other as he left.  
  
"So." Chandler said. "How was your day?"  
  
"Chandler, this is no time for a joke."  
  
"Come on, anytime is right for a joke."  
  
"Whatever." Rachel said as Chandler wolfed down his chilli dog. "Don't choke on that. I forgot the heimleich manuever."  
  
He gave her a thumbs up after he swallowed it. This was something he learned from Joey she took it.  
  
"What do we do?" Chandler asked.  
  
"We?" Rachel said. "Oh no, we stay out of this."  
  
"But we got them married." Chandler said.  
  
"Thats where we stoppped meddling in their love lives." Rachel said as Chandler paid for lunch.  
  
"I know." Chandler grumbled. "I still feel like I have to do something. I don't want to work with that sad sack. Or I'll go nuts and do something I won't like."  
  
"Ok." Rachel said. "We'll get them together for a dinner."  
  
"Fabulous." Chandler snapped his fingers. "Can we get Monica to cook?"  
  
"If she wants her beanie baby collection back she will." Rachel said smiling. "See you later? You bring Wesley and I will get Alison to come."  
  
"Great. Yet another impossible mission for Chandler Bing."  
  
"What?" Rachel furrowed her brow.  
  
"Nothing." Chandler said as she crossed the street.  
  
Later  
  
Chandler opened the door and slammed it hard.  
  
"Hey!" He yelled. "Rachel!"  
  
"What?" Rachel called.  
  
"Did you manage to wrangle Alison for this dinner thing?" Chandler asked.  
  
"Yeah shes in the bathroom." Rachel said coming out with her curling iron in her hand.  
  
"Great." Chandler checked the dinner table. "What are we eating?"  
  
"Youre guess is as good as mine." Rachel said. "Monica came up, grabbed her beanie babies and whipped up something with a LOT of brown stuff."  
  
"Thats not encouraging." Chandler said. "Don't ask me why."  
  
"Didn't plan on it." Rachel said. Wesley came in the door at the same time as Alison left the bathroom.  
  
"Hey do I look all right?" Alison said.  
  
"Chandler, how much longer am I gonna wait out there. I'm feeling like the doorman."  
  
They both looked at each other.  
  
"Chan. Whats going on here?" Wesley asked.  
  
"We want you to talk to each other about this darn singer thing." Rachel said before Chandler inserted something. "Come on, sit down and you are not leaving until we reach some sort of deal on this thing."  
  
"I'm willing if he is." Alison said looking at Wesley. Wesley grunted and sat down. They started to look at each other but then dived into the food.  
  
"I'm sorry." Rachel whispered. "She made enough for two people cause she was mad."  
  
Chandler whispered. "Ah."  
  
A fewm minutes passed by. Alison and Wesley talked quietly. It was very hard for Rachel and Chandler to try and eavesdrop on their conversation. After about a half an hour Wesley and Alison were done with their dinner.  
  
"We reached a decision." Alison said. "If I do badly at this first time at singing, i promise to forget about it and move on with our lives."  
  
"I'll be there to support her." Wesley said. "Alison is giving up her apartment and coming back with me."  
  
"But Alison." Rachel said. "What if you do well?"  
  
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Alison said. They got ready to leave. "All we need is a place to try and sing at."  
  
Rachel scrunched her nose. "I think I know someone who could help us."  
  
"We do?" Chandler asked. Rachel elbowed him in the stomach. "Oh, yeah, we do."  
  
"Great." Wesley said as he held the door. "See you later Chan man, thanks for this."  
  
Chandler waved and then turned to Rachel. "Who's helping us?"  
  
"Someone with connections." Rachel said. "Feel like going to work with me tomorrow?"  
  
Chandler raised his eyebrows. "You don't mean...." Rachel nodded. "Oh my." Chandler finished.  
  
A/N Alright, I'm back from a long break. School got to busy and the summer was really busy too. I'm finally back and I'm trying to get everyone season up. =) 


	7. That's What Friends Are For

Beyond Friends Episode Forty One "Thats What Friends Are For"  
  
Guest Stars  
  
Matt LeBlanc as Joey  
  
Bruce Willis as Wesley  
  
Demi Moore as Alison  
  
Judge Reinhold as Eric  
  
"With A Little Help From My Friends"  
  
Chandler followed Rachel around the studio like a lost puppy looking for its mother. Rachel and Chandler were there to ask Joey for help in getting Alison David-Cooper a place to sing. Alison wanted to be a singer after quitting her job with the lieutenant govenor. Wesley, her better half, was not too happy about this but after some coaxing and some good bean casserole at the Rachel and Chandlers he came around.  
  
"Why would Joey know anything about finding Alison a place to sing?" Chandler had asked Rachel on the crosstown bus taking Rachel to work that day.Chandler was gonna play hooky from work today. No one was gonna fire him, he was practically the boss.  
  
"Joey has this much more business connections than we do, and we have nothing." Rachel explained. "All we can do is ask, the worst thing he can say is, guys I can't help you."  
  
"I thought the worst thing was almost getting run ocver by this bus." Chandler said as they got off.  
  
A few minutes later they found Joey at his spot in the cafeteria reading the days script. Joey looked up and saw the two.  
  
"Hey!" Joey said and he waved. "Come on over, its leftover chilli day."  
  
Chandler nudged Rachel. "Is it too late to leave?"  
  
"Come on." Rachel pulled him along. Rachel sat down across from Joey.  
  
"What can I do you for?" Joey asked. "Thats showbiz for what can I do for you?" Joey laughed at his own joke.  
  
"Joey we have a favor to ask you." Rachel said and quickly explained the story while Chandler toyed with the skin that was on Joeys pudding cup.  
  
"Sorry guys." Joey shook his head. "I can't help you."  
  
"Oh no." Rachel moaned.  
  
"But I can do this for you." Joey said while smacking his lips. "You should look for a club or something that offers an open mike night. There she can sing one or two songs. By the time shes done she will whether she can hack it or not."  
  
"Really?" Chandler asked.  
  
"Sure. A lot of people make it big in these small clubs." Joey said getting up. "I can't think of any just now but I'm sure there are a few."  
  
"Thanks Joey." Rachel said turning to leave.  
  
"Don't you work for me?" Joey asked. Rachel turned again.  
  
"Yeah." She sighed. "What do you want me to do today."  
  
"Ah, forget about it." Joey waved her on. "Go help this friend of yours. We can talk tomorrow."  
  
"Thanks Joey!" Rachel said. She turned to Chandler. "Come on, you heard the man, lets go get Alison."  
  
"Right." Chandler said and they left the cafe.  
  
As soon as they left the cafe Rachel reached into her wicker bag and got out her cell phone.  
  
"It'll be quicker to find her if I can reach Alison on her phone." Rachel said flipping it open. "I just hope she didn't get rid of it or else we're in deep doodoo."  
  
"Doesn't she still have that apartment?" Chandler said.  
  
"Yeah but she more likely went home with Wes last night so going there would be a waste of time." Rachel said hitting the speed dial. She waited for a second as the phone on the other end rang.  
  
"Hello?" The voice said. Alison hadn't tossed out her phone after all.  
  
"It's Rachel." She said.  
  
"Oh hi Rache!" Alison said. "Have you had any luck?"  
  
"Not really, my friend couldnt help but gave us some great advice. Do you know any places that would have an open mike night?"  
  
"Sure!" Alison said. "Wes and I went to a lot of clubs when we were on our honeymoon. There is a really nice Coffee bar, they have open mike night tonight and karaoke tommorrow."  
  
"Yea!" Rachel nodded. She remembered the place. It was where Rachel and Monica had seen Steve and Linda. Monica got to sing I Got You Babe with the clubs owner Eric. "I know where it is. You want to meet there tonight??"  
  
"How does six sound to you?" Alison said. "I can't write an original song for the life of me so I will do covers of songs I already know and love." Alison said.  
  
"Great. See you there." Rachel clicked the phone off. "That was nice and easy. Now you can go to work." She said looking at Chandler.  
  
"Nah, its too late to go in." Chandler said. Rachel raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay, I dont WANT to go to work."  
  
"I didn't say a thing. Let's go. I want to call Ross and ask him if he wants to go to this thing." Rachel said as they went over to catch the next bus home.  
  
Later  
  
Rachel and Chandler arrived at the club around 6:00.  
  
"So sorry Ross couldn't come to this." Chandler said as he opened the door for her.  
  
"Thank you." Rachel said. "No, he had some dino thing to work on tonight. I swear to god, if he worked that much examining me..."  
  
"Rachel!" Alison saw them. "So glad you were able to make it here tonight." Wesley waved from his spot. Chandler went over to talk to him.  
  
"How are you?" Chandler asked.  
  
"All right so far." Wesley said. "But I don't know how to feel about this. Am I waiting for her to succeed or crash and burn?"  
  
"Ah." Chandler said. "Well just be there for her, that'll mean more than winning or losing at this."  
  
Rachel sat with Alison.  
  
"Are you nervous?" She asked Alison as the room started to fill up.  
  
"Well, you know how you felt when you got your first kiss?" Alison asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Multiply that by 10 and you will have what I have right now."  
  
"Ohh." Rachel asked. She turned her head as Eric got up near his usual podium.  
  
"Ladies and Gentleman! Welcome to open mike night at the Java Joint. Tonight we will have a funny man and a singer who is trying to make a start for herself here." He said smiling. "Let's give them a round of applause for being gutsy enough to just be here tonight. They've already made a big step in humble opinion. First we will have the lady singer. But first the vocal stylings of Alison David-Cooper, she will sing a couple of her favorite songs. Give her a hand folks!"  
  
Alison smiled nervously. "Here I go."  
  
"Good luck." Rachel said as Chandler and Wesley joined her at the table.  
  
"Hi!" She said into the mike. "First I will start with a fave Carly Simon song of mine." She grabbed the mike.  
  
"Nobody does it better  
  
Makes me feel sad for the rest.  
  
Nobody does it half as good as you,  
  
Baby, you're the best."  
  
Rachel looked over at Chandler who smiled at her.  
  
Alison continued.  
  
"The way that you hold me, whenever you hold me.  
  
There's some kind of magic inside you.  
  
That keeps me from runnin' but just keep it comin'  
  
How'd you learn to do the things you do?"  
  
Rachel and Chandler turned to look at Wesley who seemed in awe of her as a singer. Rachel looked at him. Then she looked at Chandler. Chandler shoved a cocktail napkin at her. She read it briefly and nodded.  
  
Alison sung.  
  
"Baby you're the best.  
  
Darlin' you're the best.  
  
Darlin' you're the best.  
  
Baby you're the best.  
  
Baby you're the best."  
  
Chandler met Rachel out by the bathroom door.  
  
"She's really good." Rachel said. "Thats the good news." She said as Alison announced her next song would be "It's a heartache"  
  
"Yeah, but the good news is that she is great." Chandler said. They looked at Wesley. "What's gonna happen now?"  
  
"I don't know. I wish I could fast forward to the end of this song." Rachel said.  
  
"I know." Chandler said. "Let's go sit down." He said after they lingered at the door to the bathroom for five minutes.  
  
"I have an idea." Rachel said and went up to Alison."Alison. dedicate this next song to Wesley. Make him know you haven't forgotten when he has done for him."  
  
"I was gonna do a nice Janis Joplin one..." she stopped when she got a look from Rachel. "But I can change that."  
  
"Good." Rachel said. Alison went to her microphone again. Rachel sat down and looked at Chandler.  
  
"Ok this song I want to dedicate to my husband Wesley, without him I would not be up here tonight." She said looking at him." Wesley blushed as the song started. Alison started to sing.  
  
"Do you remember when we met  
  
That's the day I knew you were my pet  
  
I want to tell you how much I love you"  
  
"Come with me, my love  
  
To the sea, the sea of love  
  
I want to tell you how much I love you"  
  
"Come with me, to the sea"  
  
"Do you remember when we met  
  
That's the day I knew you were my pet  
  
I want to tell you how much I love you"  
  
There was a short guitar solo  
  
"Come with me, to the sea"  
  
"Come with me, my love  
  
To the sea, the sea of love  
  
I want to tell you how much I love you"  
  
Alison went to Wesley after the song ended and they embraced. Rachel smiled at Chandler and they walked out the door.  
  
"That was great. She was a really good singer. But where is she gonna go now?" Rachel asked.  
  
"I don't know. Skys the limit, or at least thats what they say." Chandler said.  
  
"Rachel!" Alison caught up with the duo. "There was a producer in the audience tonight, he wants me to have the lead role in The Rocky Horror Picture Show broadway revival!" She squealed with joy.  
  
"Try and say that three times fast." Chandler said.  
  
"Thats great." Rachel said to Alison.  
  
"I gotta go, study my lines!" Alison said giving Rachel a big hug. "Joy!" She said and ran off.  
  
"Hey, do you know of the female lead actually sings in this thing shes doing?" Rachel asked Chandler.  
  
"What makes you think I ever saw that?" Chandler asked incredulously. Rachel glared at him. "Theres a bit of singing for her part."  
  
"Remind me to go see her." Rachel said as they turned for home.  
  
"You know, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship." Chandler said as they walked into the dense fog.  
  
"Thats it, I'm taking your Casablanca tape."  
  
"Darn." 


	8. She's a Beauty

Beyond Friends Episode Forty Two "She's A Beauty"  
  
Guest Stars -  
  
Matt LeBlanc as JoeyM  
  
Courteney Cox as Monica  
  
Tea' Leoni as Linda  
  
"The Most Beautiful Girl In The World"  
  
Joey and Rachel walked down the street towards Rachels place. The week after Alisons famous appearance at the Java Joint, she appeared in a new stage version of the Rocky Horror Show. Alison had sent Chandler and her the tickets because without them she would have never done it. Chandler confessed he had seen the movie and wasn't too wild about seeing the stage version.  
  
"And besides that, Monica is coming over tonight to force feed me again." Chandler said as Rachel showed him the tickets.  
  
For the past three weeks Monica had been coming by with her experimental cooking recipes. New things she wanted to be tested and tasted before she went public with it at the new restaaurant. It was getting closer and closer to opening day and she was freaked. To say the least they were well fed on teh weekends, contending with leftover bowls of stuff even a school cafeteria would be afraid to serve.  
  
Rachel called Joey right afterwards and asked if he was free. He was, but could he tear himself away from the see through bikini contest? Anything for Rachel.  
  
"What time do you want to be picked up?" Joey had asked.  
  
"She really did a good job up there. I should know, acting and singing is really a tough thing to do. Like walking and chewing gum." Joey said as they continued the walk home.  
  
"Yea." Rachel said.  
  
"How come you didn't ask Ross to this?" Joey asked. "Thats been on my mind all night long."  
  
"Hes been really busy, I can't explain why." Rachel said. "Dino world is unpredictable." Rachel stopped to stretch a little bit. She turned a bit and looked. "Is it my imagination or has that man been following us for the last block or so?"  
  
"I dunno." Joey said. "Keep walking."  
  
Rachel and Joey began to walk again, she could not help but look back every two seconds. The man would be there one minute and then the next second he would be gone. Like he wasn't even there.  
  
"What was that all about?" Joey asked as they sat down. "I don't know. I doubt we will find out before the night is through." Rachel sighed.  
  
Back at the apartment Monica whisked gracefully through the kitchen while Chandler sat at the stool in front of the counter. His designated spot since he had been rudely told to "Get your butt outta here." by Monica. She quickly apologized.  
  
"The kitchen is my zone, if something strange is in here in then I can't cook as well." Monica said.  
  
"I am now making us dessert. This dessert takes longer than that nice casserole I just prepared so it will be half done by the time we are done eating." Monica said to Chandler who was now thinking about what a fork would taste like. He was starving!  
  
"Thats great." Chandler agreed as Monica pulled the pan out of the oven and she scooped a portion onto his plate. Chandler rubbed his hands while Monica closed thr oven.  
  
"It was really nice you had that glass of citric acid ready for this, I needed just about all of that." Monica said as Chandler grabbed a spoon.  
  
He looked up.  
  
"Monica I don't have citric acid in my fridge." Chandler stuttered. Monica gave him a cross look.  
  
"Sure you do, its this stuff in this covered glass here." She took it out of the fridge.  
  
"Monica, that is not citric acid." Chandler said backing away from his plate. "My next door neighbors kid gave me his science project to watch while they went on a weekend trip."  
  
"Is this what I think it is?" Monica said. Chandler weakly nodded. "OH!"  
  
"Sorry." Chandler said as Monica tossed the remainder of it into the trash.  
  
"What are you gonna do about your neighbors kid?"  
  
"I'll deal. He's failing science anyway. This was gonna be a great casserole."  
  
"Tell me about it." Monica said. There was a knock at the door.  
  
"Who could that be?" Chandler said.  
  
"Could it be Joey and Rachel?" Monica said as she went for the door.  
  
"No, she wouldnt knock." Chandler said.  
  
Monica opened the door. It was Linda.  
  
"Hello Linda." Chandler said to her. She cast a look at Monica. Monica exchanged an fierce look at her back.  
  
"So how is Steve?" Monica asked her as she closed the door behind Linda. "I'll get that."  
  
"Thanks." She said not looking at Monica. "Chandler I came to apologize for what happened to us."  
  
"From what I hear you said you were going to California when you actually stayed here and dated Monicas fiancee'" Chandler said. "I know all about it."  
  
"I'm so sorry for causing you and your friends so much pain. I had no idea Steve was getting married when I met him. It was just love at first site. Are you all right?"  
  
"He's more than all right, he's completely over you." Monica spoke up.  
  
"Steve left me a week ago, for a paralegal at the company he works at. I should have epxected it, after all he left Monica for me, I should have know it was gonna happen. Sooner or later it will happen to her too." Linda said stopping. "Are you having dinner? I shouldnt keep you then."  
  
"No please." Monica said. "We have too much here. Why don't you have some?"  
  
Chandler looked at her with a shocked expression. She winked and he sat back.  
  
"What are you having? I don't want to be any kind of a bother." Linda said looking at the casserole pan. "Hamburger Pepper Casserole." She determined as she stirred the ladel around the pan. "I love this stuff." Chandler slid her his plate. She promptly scooped out a portion and pratically gobbled it down. Poor girl, she had no idea what else was in that casserole. "I love this."  
  
"Take the pan. I'm sure you will want some more later." Monica said as she covered the still warm pan with some saran wrap.  
  
"Oh, I don't want to steal your dinner..."  
  
"Go ahead." Chandler encouraged. "Too spicy. Just Perfect for you."  
  
"Wow. I come to apolgize and I get a free dinner. I ought to cheat on people more often." Linda observed."Bye." She said as she walked out the door.  
  
Monica and Chandler poked their heads out the door and watched her leave.  
  
"Oh my god." Chandler said looking at Monica. "You are so evil."  
  
"I know." Monica said smiling. "What about you, you didn't exactly stop me."  
  
"I didn't want that to become leftover for anyone I liked." Chandler said. "Ok, WE are evil." He said smiling.  
  
"Do you think she will find out?" Monica asked as they walked back in.  
  
"She will, I've kept stuff for the kid before, most starts to smell in a day or so."  
  
"I can hardly wait."  
  
They walked back in and closed the door.  
  
The next day  
  
Rachel was sitting at her usual spot underlining a ten page speech in Joeys speech for his soap opera. She heard a bit of a commotion down the hallway. Rachel looked up and saw a man and a couple of people with cameras.  
  
"Rachel Green!" The manin front yelled. "Are you Rachel Green?"  
  
"I am." Rachel said getting up from her school desk. "How may I help you?"  
  
"Oh you don't need to help us miss, but we can certainly help you. You are the winner of the Estee Lauder Fresh Faces contest!"  
  
"But I don't recall entering it." Rachel said sitting in disbelief.  
  
"It wasnt that kind of contest." The man explained. Joey came out of the room. "We had undercover operatives looking around at the women of New York. You may remember that you were followed by such a person last night."  
  
"Yeah," She looked at Joey. "That was the guy that was following us last night from the opera house."  
  
"So we are here to offer you, Miss Rachel Green, a contract with Estee Lauder. We will even give you a representative agent."  
  
"She doesn't need an agent." Joey said wrapping his arm around Rachels shoulder. "I'm her agent." He said confidently.  
  
"Joey?" She asked.  
  
"And you name is ..." The man asked getting a pad.  
  
"Joseph Tribbiani." Joey said. "I am also on Days of our restless children." The name failed to ring a bell with the reporters. "Don't tell me you never heard of it." Still more silence. "I guess you havent then."  
  
"We will see you tomorrow afternoon then Miss Green?" The man said and left with the press. Rachel turned to Joey.  
  
"Do you know anything about being an agent Joey?" Rachel asked him.  
  
"No, but we're bound to find out." Joey said hugging her. "Rachel, smile! This is your big break!"  
  
"Yeah, a great big break." Rachel said as cheerfully as she could.  
  
"Great." Joey said. "Can you finish up the script for me? I'm going to lunch."  
  
"You were just at lunch." Rachel pointed out.  
  
"No, I was with the directors wife, I'm going to lunch now." Joey said as he left.  
  
Rachel sat back and started to work, while at the same time trying to figure out what had just happened. 


	9. Secret Agent Man

Beyond Friends Episode Forty Three "Secret Agent Man"  
  
Guest Stars  
  
Arnold Schwartzenegger as Claus Fraudenstien  
  
Matt LeBlanc as Joey  
  
David Schwimmer as Ross  
  
Courteney Cox as Monica  
  
"I'm An Agent"  
  
Rachels hands shook as she buttoned up the front of her dress. That day was going to be the first day she was gonna be a model for Estee Lauder. It felt so wonderful to her and yet so nerve wracking at the same time. Rachel threw down her hands and gave up trying to button. Ross was sitting next to her.  
  
"Turn around." He said raising his hands. "But I'd rather you not go. Stay here with me." He said buttoning her dress with far more steadier hands than her.  
  
"I know, I would rather be here with you too. But Joey will be here any minute and today is my first photo shoot and I dont want to be late and create a bad imperssion..." Rachel shot off at a manic pace. Ross pulled her close and calmed her with a kiss.  
  
"It'll be all right." Ross said pulling away from her. "We still got some time before he comes right?"  
  
"Don't muss up my hair, Monica will kill you." Rachel said as they moved to kiss again.  
  
Meanwhile in the living room Monica and Chandler were watching a game on tv.  
  
"I take it that Ross and Rachel are back to normal?" Monica asked.  
  
"Define normal." Chandler replied. "I still think its nuts that she is having Joey be here agent. Does he even know how to do it?"  
  
"He seems to keep himself in steady demand, he must be doing something right." Monica said as there was a knock at the door.  
  
"That should be Joey." Chandler said getting up to answer the door. It swung open before he had a chance to get to it.  
  
"Hey!" Joey said waving a hello. He was wearing a very professional looking suit. He stood there and let Chandler and Monica look him over. The suit had loud red and blue stripes running down it. "This is my lucky suit." He explained as they looked on with a weird kind of awe.  
  
"Thats good. I thought you mugged a ventriloquist on teh way over here." Chandler sighed. "They're in there." He said pointing. "Don't ask me what they are doing in there. I don't want to know."  
  
"Me neither." Monica said.  
  
"Ah." Joey said chuckling, then he lauhged a little louder. "Oh I see what you mean."  
  
"I'll knock on the door." Monica volunteered. "Where they are....uh....heh....they don't like the be disturbed."  
  
"What IS with the suit." Chandler asked.  
  
"I had an early meeting with the Estee Lauder people. I don't want to worry Rachel about this but if this first shoot goes off without a hitch, big things could be in store."  
  
"Wow." Chandler said. "All of these thigns happening: Monica reopening her eatery, you have your semi fame, Rachel getting this job, and Phoebe being a mom, And all this time I'm still at the same place I was only temping for."  
  
"Admit it, you're jealous." Joey said grinning stupidly, Chandler sighed realizing that what he said had gone in one ear and come out the other.  
  
"I'm ready!" Rachel called. "Let's go."  
  
"Wish us luck." Joey said as they went into the hallway. The trio went to the window and watched Joeys Cherry Dodge Charger drive away.  
  
"Joeys a big star, shouldnt he have gotten a new car by now?" Monica said as it made a loud backfiring noise that could have awoken the dead.  
  
"He said he didn't want to stick out." Ross said quietly as the car turned a corner and started to roll to Rachels destiny.  
  
Rachel and Joey entered the studio at the local Estee Lauder stomping grounds. It was set up very simply. Rachel assumed they didnt use this location very often. When they had arrived they noticed this upscale photo studio was in a bad part of town. Joey had to activate his car alarm hen they got out. Rachel told Joey that no respectable crook would take the car.  
  
"Wow." Rachel looked around the studio which was painted a bright white. Probably to hide any cracks or anything that was considered unsightly. "So this is the big time."  
  
"Yeah." Joey said joining her. "Every time I start a new project I feel like I'm doing this for the first time. Like you are today."  
  
"What happened at your real first time?" Rachel asked.  
  
"You don't wanna know."  
  
"I'll ask Chandler." She threatened.  
  
"I showed up with no underwear on." Joey confessed. "No pants either. Not exactly the first impression you want to make either. Believe you me."  
  
A big slamming door interuppted their little talk. Three men came in with cameras followed by a very thin makeup girl who directed Rachel over to one of the chairs. She abruptly pushed her into the chair and began to remove all the makeup that Rachel had taken care to put on this morning. She began reapplying a thing foundation. Her hands flew as they worked.  
  
"Claus does not like it when his own models put on their own makeup. Even when they do it well he wants it all off and done his way." The girl explained. "Claus is particular about the way his models look too. Have you eaten today? He does not like his models to work on empty stomachs." She paused.  
  
"I've eaten." Rachel lied, she was too nervous to eat anything at all. "I'm sorry, this is my first day. Who is Claus?"  
  
She made a little squeaky noise. "Uh! I got to go, he does not want makeup people around when he works. See you later okay?"  
  
Rachel nodded. She got up and went to Joey. "Who is Claus?"  
  
"I am Claus." A rich foreign accent answered him. "I am Claus Fraudenstien, the man responsible for turning what you call there a face into a work of art." Claus said pronouncing "work" like "verk". "Okay, little girl, I talk, you vill listen. Ja?"  
  
"Ja." Rachel said.  
  
"Who eez this?" Claus said looking at Joey like he was no more than a common house fly.  
  
"He eez my agent." Rachel said imitating Claus's accent.  
  
"Well them, he stay. He stay as long as he no talk. Ja?" Claus said pointing a pinky at his chest.  
  
Joey nodded.  
  
"Wonderful. Little girl....vot is your name? Rachel? You go over to pillow." Claus said pointing the way. He went to talk to a camera man. "I swear to you Anfony, we have a work cut out here today."  
  
Rachel looked around."What do I do here?"  
  
"Okay look at me." Claus said slightly irritated. "You will rest head on that pillow, ja? You understand. Place your hands under head like I do here." Claus demonstrated. "Good, I like. Take picture already."  
  
Joey was standing behind Claus with a serious look on his face. He didn't like the way he was treating Rachel.  
  
He heard him mutter "I swear to god, life behind iron curtain was paradise compared to this."  
  
"Thats enough!" Joey burst out. He walked to Claus who stood before him with his hands on his hips.  
  
"Vot are you doing? I told you keep quiet, you stay." Claus said.  
  
"I am not gonna stay quiet." Joey said. "I don't care if you are world famous photographer or have awards up the wazoo. You have no right treating my friend, or anyone like this." Joey said going over to Rachels hand. He took it. "Come on. We're going."  
  
"What do I tell big makeup company?" Claus said beginning to sound worried.  
  
"Tell them I said to take their contract and stick it." Joey said as they left.  
  
Claus turned to his photo assistant. "This is bad." Claus thought for a second. "Let's go get drunk."  
  
They walked down the hall to the parking lot. Rachel stopped Joey halfway down the hallway.   
  
"Joey, thanks for doing that." Rachel said hugging him.  
  
"No problem. As your agent, I was looking out for your interests. Also I cared for you as a friend."  
  
"Thanks." Rachel said.  
  
"Let's go home." Joey said. "You can go back to being my assistant till I get you another gig."  
  
"Joy."  
  
Chandler and Monica were still watching the game as Joey and Rachel opened the door.  
  
"Hi!" Rachel said carrying a bag. Joey waved as he closed the door.  
  
"Rachel. What is this?" Monica said looking in the bag.  
  
"Beauty Products courtesy of me and Estee Lauder. Today was my first and last day on the job. Joey broke into the supply closet and helped me raid it." Rachel said handing Chandler a jar of face moisterizer.  
  
"Rachel, you know I only use Lancomme'." Chandler whined.  
  
"What happened was that the photographer was a jerk and Joey gave him the what for." Rachel said as she sat on Ross's lap.  
  
"Thats great." Ross said as he turned to Monica. They all looked at her.  
  
"What?" Monica said. She had opened the jar of green face mudd. "Well I couldnt use a dab so I used enough to cover my whole face."  
  
"No, thats good. When you start a kabuki eatery you'll fit right in." Chandler said.  
  
Monica groaned and took a handfull of the cream and rubbed it on his face. He licked a little of it off. "It says it has cucumber in it, but trust me, it don't taste like it." Chandler said.  
  
"What are you gonna do now?" Ross said.  
  
"I'm gonna be with Joey till I get another gig. God only knows when." Rachel said.  
  
"So he still your agent?" Chandler asked.  
  
"If it wasnt for him, I would still be there with that jerk of a photog." Rachel said proudly. "You can take that either way." 


	10. Hot Stuff

Beyond Friends Episode Forty Four "Hot Stuff"  
  
Guest Stars-  
  
Courteney Cox as Monica  
  
David Schwimmer as Ross  
  
Bruce Willis as Wesley (phone call)  
  
"Food Glorious Food"  
  
Chandler awoke to the sound of loud pounding at the front door. He crept to the door of his bedroom and looked out. He turned to see if Rachel had emerged from her room to get the door, like she always does.  
  
"Don't get up, I'll get it." He muttered as he walked to the door. He swung it slowly open. It was Monica, wearing her entire Chef uniform.  
  
"Hello little girl. Halloween is next month." He said as cherfully as he could.  
  
Monica responded by pulling his shirt collar down, bringing his face to her level.  
  
"Chandler, I NEED you." She said clearly out of breath.  
  
"Ok. I'll get rid of Ross and Rachel and we can..."  
  
"I need her too." She said coming on in.  
  
"Why don't you come in." He said dryly. "Uh, is there something I should know about?"  
  
"Just a sec." Monica said bursting into Rachels room wihtout knocking. She just as quickly came out. "Why didn't you tell me Ross was here?" She asked angrily, and a bit embarressedly.  
  
"I did!" Chandler said as Ross and Rachel came out with her big flower comforter wrapped around them.  
  
"I didn't see a thing." Monica sputtered. "Not to say its just a thing. I didn't see anything."  
  
"Thats ok Mon." Ross said.  
  
"What do you want?" Rachel asked. She looked at Chandler who gave her his best "What?" expression.  
  
"I need help." Monica said.  
  
"That goes without saying." Ross said.  
  
"The restaurants opening day is today. I had to find a lot of workers at the last minute. I found out that an immigration official is having dinner out there. I go back to the kitchen and all my staff was gone! Expect for a little old lady, who I don't remember hiring in the first place." Monica said.  
  
"Ok. That brings up to now." Chandler said to her. "What do you want with us."  
  
"I was hoping if it was possible, that you could come down and help me out until the people I sent for from the Temp agency can come." Monica said.  
  
"I dunno." Rachel said. "What if Joey can't let me go for one day."  
  
"Joeys a real slave driver." Chandler said.  
  
"I can't do it Mon." Ross said trying to leave, then he remembered where he was. "I gotta get dressed and to the museum."  
  
"Oh." Monica said looking down.  
  
"I'll help." Chandler said. "And I'm sure Joey will let Rachel help as well."  
  
"Really?" Rachel asked. "How are you gonna accomplish this?"  
  
"He owes me a favor. Actually this is one of many things he owes me." Chandler explained.  
  
"Two hours tops." Monica said. "It won't take that long isn a city where a lot of people can't wait to work for me."  
  
"Ok." Chandler said. "Give us half an hour and we will be there."  
  
"But Chandler...." Rachel started.  
  
"We will be there." He said as Ross dragged Rachel inside her room.  
  
"Thanks Chandler." Monica said hugging him.  
  
"I'm just hoping we don't do something we regret." He said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nevermind."  
  
Few minutes later  
  
Ross and Rachel said their quick goodbyes. Quick meaning 15 minutes. Meanwhile Chandler had been on the horn taking care of the matters of the day. Getting out of work to help Monica ought to be a sinch, he had thought as he rang up Wesleys home phone number. Chandler hoped he was still at home.  
  
Wesley heard the phone. He opened one eye and rolled over to grab it off his night stand.  
  
"No one I like calls me this early." He said quietly.  
  
"It's Chandler. I need to ask a favor of you." He said while Rachel closed the front door. He glanced at her and Rachel had a smile for the ages on her face. That was one hell of a goodbye.  
  
"The Favor office doesnt open till 8:00 weekdays, 10:00 weekends and closed on holidays." Wesley said as he grudgingly started to wake up. "What can I do you for."  
  
"I need you to cover for me at the big stock meeting for today." Chandler said while getting a drink of orange juice.  
  
"But this is YOUR meeting. YOU organized it and you been waiting for it for weeks. You also bought a lifetime supply of zantac worrying about it." Wesley explained.  
  
"I know that! But Monica needs my help today." Chandler said while Rachel waited by the door in her old favorite waitressing dress from Central Perk. "So can you please cover?"  
  
"I'll do you one better. I'll postpone it till Monday." Wesley said.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Well you have to anyway, half the big wigs are out of town and will be mondo peed off if they miss any of your famous wheeling and dealing. Don't worry." Wesley said now sitting on his bed.  
  
"Thanks." Chandler said hanging up. Her turned to Rachel. "Ready to go?"  
  
"Joey said I can go as long as I have underlined his script for today." Rachel explained. "I used Ross's cell phone."  
  
"Did you do that?"  
  
"He had one line." Rachel shrugged. "I'm good to go."  
  
"All right." Chandler said. "Do you know what to do when we get there?"  
  
"Yeah." Rachel said as they left.  
  
"Good. Then tell me on the way." Chandler said as they locked the door and headed for Monicas new restaurant.  
  
Monica met Rachel and Chandler at the back door to the restaurant. She had arranged them to meet back there because she didnt want to have her new patrons see. It doesn't give a very good first impression when you have to admit all your restaurant staff were in danger of taking the first slow boat back to China. Or whereever.  
  
"I'm so glad you guys are here. It's almost the lunchtime rush." Monica explained while she escorted them in. Monica had done a wonderful job in redecorating the eatery but they had no chance to go into the main dining room and browse. They were here for a reason.  
  
"We're glad to help." Rachel said hugging Monica. "What can we do?"  
  
"We are in luck. The temp agency has already managed to send over two chefs and a two waitresses. And they are magnificant!. More will come later, but I still need you two. " Monica said. "So all I have for you to stay in here and make hour de'ouvres." Monica heard somone call her name. "Be right back. I love you guys!" Monica took off in a flurry of white.  
  
"Is it too late to call Joey back?" Rachel wondered aloud.  
  
"I think so." Chandler said. "Well we're here, now what."  
  
"We have to wait for Monica to coem back and give us our orders." Rachel said. "Here she comes."  
  
Monica carried a stack of trays and some rolled up dough stuff. "I'm soooo sorry I can't get you something else to do. But this is the most important job here. Well next to the chef anyway, and the waitress, and the table boy....you get teh picture. I need these pigs in a blanket in their blanket. Can you do that? I gotta go! I'm like a chicken with my head cut off I'm so busy. And I LOVE it." Monica left again.   
  
Chandler and Rachel looked at each other, then at the trays.  
  
"I missed my calling, I was really meant to throw luke warm pigs in a blanket." Chandler said as he grabbed one and wrapped it.  
  
"You did that wrong!" Rachel objected.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You are supposed to wrap it like this," Rachel showed him, "then the piggy doesn't fall out."  
  
"What if I want to do it this way." Chandler did his piggy the same way. Rachel rolled his eyes.  
  
"This way definately not your calling, you are still doing it wrong." Rachel looked up, one of the chefs was staring at her. "What are you looking at?"  
  
The chef looked back down.  
  
"Let me have that." Rachel said suddenly getting fed up. She seized hold of Chandlers pig and grabbed a blanket.  
  
"Give that back."  
  
"Ha!"  
  
"Ok, you want it so bad, have some more." Chandler said grabbing a handful. He threw the handful at her. She screamed as the pigs hit her. Some stuck to her hair.  
  
"Oh yea, well have all the blankets you want!" She took the blankets and threw them at him.  
  
Then all out war began. Chandler and Rachel picked up any food they found on the counter and flung it at each other. Rachel picked up a bowl of marinara sauce but then slipped and dumped it on herself. Chandler stopped to laugh but he also was felled by the sauce. They tried to get up again. The chefs screamed something italian and left. Chandler and Rachel continued started to slip and slide then they fell on top of each other.  
  
Chandler sat up and looked down. Rachel was a marinara covered mess.  
  
"Wow, you would go with breadsticks about now." Chandler remarked as they heard someone enter. The person cleared their throat.  
  
It was Monica.  
  
"Hi Monica!" Rachel said sitting up. "You gotta try the pasta, its el dente' tonight."  
  
Monica shook her head and left.  
  
Chandler came out of the bathroom.  
  
"I can't believe Monica fired us." He said as he was drying his hair.  
  
"We didn't even work for her." Rachel agreed.  
  
"But you gotta admit we were pretty childish in there."   
  
"More you than me." Rachel said pointing her finger at Chandler.  
  
"Actually I thought it was the other way around." Chandler countered.  
  
"Was not!"  
  
"Was too!"  
  
"Was not!" Rachel shook her head. "Let's stop, whenever we argue, food is bound to get involved."  
  
"Well, that one time anyway."  
  
"Do you want something to eat?" Rachel rose. "I gotta get out of this robe. We ought to go out to eat."  
  
"Good idea. I hear this new italian place is lovely." Chandler said heading to his own room. Rachel gave him a look. "Or maybe not." 


End file.
